Waiting for Marriage | Perspectives on Physical Intimacy in Christian Dating

christian bride and groom

The topic of getting physically close often makes Christian daters feel kinda awkward—the Bible says some intense stuff about intimacy before marriage that goes way beyond just following trends or personal choices. 

It’s straight up a sin, and waiting for marriage to do the deed is not just an expression of faith—it’s about your obedience to God. 

These rules come from valuing purity, respect, and self-control—basically core Christian values and they point out how your actions in dating reflect your relationship with God. Ephesians 5:3 says to avoid any sexual immorality, period. 

No hanky panky until he puts a ring on your finger. The Bible says that romantic relationships should be clearly committed to purity in all ways—emotional, spiritual, and physical. 

So this conversation isn’t just about the do’s and the don’ts of waiting for marriage—it’s about making your most intimate relationships line up with God’s will. Yes, healthy affection is great, but you gotta be careful it doesn’t lead you away from your spiritual commitments. That line can get very blurry, though, so it takes patience and wisdom to figure out your own path as to what is ultimately right for you.

This topic continues sparking varying perspectives within the Christian community, remaining an important conversation for those seeking to respect their faith in Christian dating

Acknowledging and navigating these principles involves more than following the rules—it is about fundamentally nurturing a relationship, honoring God, and laying a strong foundation for marriage.


clipboard with list and pencil

Biblical Guidelines on Intimacy

The Bible, in Ephesians 5:3, says avoiding sexual immorality or even proposing a hint of such behavior should not exist among Christians.  

Various scriptures further support this, underscoring purity and restraints value in relationships (1 Timothy 5:1-2; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7). These sections underline the gravity of treating relationships with holiness and regard, avoiding actions potentially leading to any kind of sexual immorality.   


boundaries fence

Establishing Clear Boundaries

Creating definite boundaries proves critical in Christian dating—the Holy Kiss idea implies physical contact in a relationship should communicate affection without causing sexual stimulation. It means preserving an appropriate level of physical interaction for the relationship’s stage, focused on respect and care rather than around sexual satisfaction. 

Some examples of boundaries are limiting “alone time” for couples, setting curfews, and minding media consumption can help uphold these standards—it’s also critical to keep each other accountable, with advice and guidance from church leaders or mentors if needed!

Though physical limits matter, don’t dismiss emotional and spiritual closeness—sharing intimate thoughts and support builds strong emotional bonds. Still, always guard your heart since dating doesn’t guarantee a long-term commitment or marriage.   

Doing spiritual practices together, like praying or devotions, is always helpful, but don’t forget to keep your own relationship with God, too! These things can better your relationship if you come at it with respect for each other’s personal faith journeys. 


couple in love

Modern Dating vs. Biblical Dating

There’s obviously a huge difference between modern dating and biblical vision—biblical dating has marriage as the goal and is conducted under the authority of the woman’s family, while modern dating is more for fun without marriage as necessarily an endgame. This distinction shows the different values and intentions behind both approaches to dating.


Love Affirmation Jar

Dealing with Temptation While Waiting for Marriage

Despite these boundaries, temptation can still be a super tricky challenge, so recognizing triggers and warning signs is really important! Practices like prayer, seeking support from friends or mentors, and engaging in, um, more wholesome activities can help when it comes to overcoming temptation. No one is perfect, so don’t be too hard on yourself, but be honest about your struggles.


Final Thoughts

When you’re in a Christian relationship, figuring out physical closeness can be really challenging—after all, you’re only human! It’s all about finding that middle ground where you both respect each other, keep things under control, and stay true to what the Bible teaches about waiting for marriage. 

Setting some clear boundaries is the most important part—this way, you both know what’s okay and what’s not, which helps you keep your romantic relationship on solid ground as well as setting you up for a solid future together.

Molly Davis
Molly Davis

Molly is an East Coast writer who lives on West Coast time. She’s been in the journalism field for over 20 years — newspapers are her first love but she’s finding digital media to be just as fun and challenging as print! When she’s not giving therapist-quality dating advice, she’s curled up watching movies, reading, or volunteering at local dog shelters.