Meeting the parents of your romantic partner is a timeless tradition, a rite of passage that seems like it would be simple. And while it can be an easy meet and greet if all goes well, that doesn’t make the concept any less terrifying, timeless tradition or not.
In fact, I’m on the verge of a panic attack just thinking about this monumental step in a relationship because you want them to like you. What if they don’t?
His parents could dislike you on sight—and if you make it further than that, you could put your foot in your mouth later. The night is young and so much could go wrong! You could knock a glass of wine onto his mom’s favorite tablecloth. There are so many awful possibilities.
That’s why this big step feels so scary—you want to win them over, but you don’t want to be fake and phony. But lucky for you, this rite of passage is a navigable one, and with a little planning and some charm, you can make a good first impression, we promise! Just don’t have the red wine—go with a white, just in case.
Prelude to the Meeting
Before you even step foot into his familial frontier, do your homework and gather some good intel. Knowing a little bit about his parents’ interests, such as their likes and dislikes, will give you some conversation topics. Grill your boyfriend about them because these details will not only show that you care about the meeting but save you during any awkward lulls at the dinner table.
Dress to Impress
Now, onto your attire. This should be common sense, but it’s also a weird gray area where we don’t want to tell you to wear something that isn’t you. But first impressions matter, so if you show up in an inappropriate outfit, say, something skimpy or wearing sweats and a hoodie, it might not go in your favor.
There’s a middle ground here! Opt for something that is comfortable, shows your personality, yet is respectful—his parents will appreciate it. It’s about striking a balance between being yourself and showing consideration for the important occasion of meeting the parents.
The Art of Conversation
Natural conversationalists have nothing to worry about here, but not all of us have the gift of gab. We’re talking to you, introverts! But you have to engage with his mom and dad (and any siblings who are curious about their brother’s girlfriend), so get out of your comfort zone for an hour or two.
You don’t have to be a Chatty Cathy, but be genuinely interested, listen actively, and share any anecdotes or stories that fit into the topic at hand. And under no circumstances bring up any controversial topics, like politics or religion. Nope, don’t do it.
The Gift of Giving
Never show up to anyone’s home empty-handed, meeting his folks or otherwise! Always bring something, whether it’s a small gift, like flowers or baked goods, as a token of appreciation. It’s a nice gesture that seldom goes unnoticed. It doesn’t have to be expensive or over the top, just thoughtful and an expression of gratitude for the hospitality.
Mind Your Manners
As Colin Firth so eloquently put it in Kingsman, “Manners maketh the man,” and this applies to women as well. Simple etiquette like saying “please” and “thank you,” as well as offering to help with anything, says a lot about you.
And showing appreciation for the meal that was made doesn’t hurt when it comes to making a great first impression. Repeat after us: “That was delicious, thank you so much!” Want to get bonus points? Even if they tell you to stay seated while the table is cleared, get up and help.
Takeaways
And last but certainly not least, while you’re trying to charm his folks, don’t overdo it and turn into someone you aren’t. Being the real you is important—if you act like someone else and end up marrying your beau, that’s a long con and will be hard to keep up. Hopefully, his parents are just as interested in getting to know the real you as you are in getting their nod of approval.
The first meeting with his folks is a mix of nervous excitement, dread, and hope. But with some prep, preparation, the right outfit, good manners, and a dash of your delightful self, you can navigate through this like a pro-parental-unit-meeter. Just remember to stay away from the red wine.
