If you’ve found yourself in a “situationship” due to your love interest “breadcrumbing” you instead of committing, do you “cobweb” them, stay “orbiting,” or go “cookie-jarring?”
No, you have not had a stroke if you did not understand the above sentence–chances are you’ve just aged out of the latest dating terms. But don’t worry; we are here to help you navigate these newfangled sayings and break them down into a handy glossary you can refer to when you need to decipher the codes.
Describing yourself as single and searching for a relationship is way too pedestrian of a describer for dating apps in 2023. Social networking and dating apps have significantly impacted how people look for romantic connections, and this has led to a general vibe shift in how people talk about the nuances of and how they interact with dating apps.
This means we all need a refresher course on what the heck these phrases mean and how to use them in the correct context!
17 Modern Dating Terms (And What the Heck They Mean)
We put together a glossary of the most frequently used phrases for your dating app experience so you’re not in the dark when someone accuses you of doing a “slow fade.” From “ghosting” to “mosting,” don’t be caught out now knowing what the sitch is and if you’re guilty of or if it’s happening to you!
Situationship
A “situationship” is when in a sexual or romantic pairing, there is uncertainty about where each person stands. There is a lack of clarity in a situationship, unlike in a “friends with benefits” relationship. Such an arrangement lacks the certainty and stability of an established relationship.
Ghosting
The term “ghosting” refers to the common practice of suddenly disappearing or cutting off all communication with a date, partner, or online match for no apparent reason–at least not one that’s identifiable to the person being ghosted. It’s like Casper, only they aren’t so friendly and just vanish into thin air.
Mosting
“Mosting” can be thought of as a more serious version of ghosting–in this situation, a potential partner showers the other person with excessive compliments and attention only to “ghost” with zero warning.
Cookie-jarring
“Cookie-jarring” is when someone is looking for a new partner because they need a fallback plan in case their current one falls through. Like grabbing a cookie when you’re craving something sweet and quick, cookie-jarring occurs when one individual pursues another when their primary love interest is unavailable or rejects them.
Breadcrumbing
Breadcrumbing is when a potential love partner is repeatedly contacted, teased with the idea of a date, and kept engaged, but the pursuer never really makes any moves toward pursuing a romantic connection.
Orbiting
When someone has stopped talking to someone or made it plain they aren’t interested in dating them, but they still engage with them on social media, generally by viewing and liking their posts, they are “orbiting.”
The same holds true for the common behavior of passively stalking a possible romantic interest on social media. It’s easy for individuals, especially women in heteronormative relationships, to assume the worst and think that the person is being intentional about their feelings, which may not be the case.
Cobwebbing
The term “self-love” is used to describe the process of destroying remnants of past relationships, such as clothing, text threads, and pictures. Someone who is not totally present and engaged in their dating journey is the one who hangs on to mementos from a previous romance.
Cuffing
Cuffing originates from the word “handcuff,” and it refers to the practice of tying oneself to another person, often during the colder seasons–particularly in winter. Outside of the cuffing season, “cuffing” can also be used as a label for couples in committed relationships.
Cyberflashing
Sending explicit photos or videos to another person via a social networking platform, like a dating app or a file-sharing tool like Airdrop (GROSS), without the recipient’s consent is called “cyberflashing.”
Yes, this sounds like it should be illegal, and it may soon be. Although a few states have passed legislation to protect victims who are “cyberflashed,” as of now, there is no federal statute for those who get unwelcomed and unsolicited sexual photos online.
The Three Flags: Beige, Green, and Red
- Green flags are good! These mean “go” and that a potential love interest is a good catch with compatible characteristics.
- Red flags are glaring warnings–red means stop! If you notice any undesirable or harmful character traits or behaviors, it’s a red flag and means possible danger.
- Beige flags are a little tricky–beige is a neutral tone, and the term is used when you can’t tell if the person you are interested in is into you–basically, beige flags tend to mean a love interest and is kinda “meh” and boring.
Gaslighting
The term “gaslighting” has been around for a long time and remains one of the more prevalent toxic traits in relationships–but the term and its usage resurfaced in the last few years due to people going to therapy and working out it was happening in their relationships.
You’re not crazy; you’re being gaslit! Gaslighting entails creating self-doubt via manipulation tactics, causing them to question their memory or interpretation of events.
Gaslighting can come in all forms, but typical tactics include denials, lies, and outright dismissal of someone’s emotions.
Love Bombing
Love bombing is when you literally bomb your partner or the object of your affection with love, whether it’s material presents, attention, or copious amounts of affection. Love bombers often do this to gain control in a relationship by overwhelming their new squeeze with attention and trying to estrange them from their friends and family in the process. Identifying the difference between a love bomber and someone who is just super affectionate can be hard–having an overly affectionate partner isn’t always a red flag.
Rizz
“Rizz,” short for “charisma,” means that someone has that “thing.” You can’t really define it, but it’s usually a charming, magnetic personality that just draws people in. The Twitch broadcaster and influencer Kai Cenat, who coined the phrase, said that the true meaning of “rizz” is the power to attract a person who wasn’t into you at first.
Soft-Launching
Soft-launching is when a person decides to declare they are seeing someone to the world (or to their fans or social network followers) by posting about it on Instagram or another platform–but since it’s a soft-launch, not a hard launch, they don’t reveal their SO’s name or any other info. It’s just a picture of their new boo– the logic behind this is that if things don’t work out, you won’t have jumped the gun and you can simply delete the pic.
Benching
“Benching” obviously comes from the basketball term for sitting a player out of a game due for whatever reason–that’s up to the coach! If you find yourself cooling your heels on the bench in a romantic relationship, this isn’t a great sign of a healthy connection and you should find another player.
Slow Fade
The “slow fade” is when the person you’ve been dating backs away from the relationship little by little, becoming more emotionally distant, less accessible, and ultimately going dark. The relationship is over for them, but their cowardice prevents them from having “the talk” and telling you that they want out. As cruel ways to end a relationship go, the slow fade is probably worse than being ghosted–with ghosting, at least you know what is going on and that it’s over.
Zombie-ing
The term “zombie-ing” refers to the phenomenon in which a person who has previously “ghosted” you reappears in your life after an extended absence as if nothing had happened. A zombie-ing infection might disguise itself as a seemingly random text message (U up?), a direct message on one of your socials, or a phone call. Like the undead depicted in George Romero’s films, these zombies must be cut off.
Takeaways
Now that you are all caught up on modern dating terms, you can go forth and put your knowledge to good use and show Gen Z’ers that you know what the hell they’re talking about.
When a young ‘un tells you they’re “Benching their current situationship, but they aren’t going to fully ghost them because they are cookie-jarring someone in time for cuffing season,” you can nod along and maybe comprehend what they’re trying to tell you about their dating life.
