Valentine’s Day has always been a holiday that’s all about love—cue most stores looking like there was a bomb that exploded chocolates and flowers, and we can’t forget all of the social media posts that read like dramatic rom-com confessions.
Yes, for couples, it’s a wonderful day to celebrate their relationship, but for singles? It tends to feel like a giant neon sign that is flashing right in front of your face, and it reads, “Still solo?” But there is a silver lining to this holiday: it doesn’t have to be a day you dread.
With a little bit of Valentine prep, you can make the weeks in the run-up to Valentine’s Day a time to boost your confidence, connect with others, and possibly even find a fiery spark. Whether you’re dating, not dating, or just trying to figure it all out, our guide will help you approach Feb. 14th feeling like your best self!
Pre-Valentine Tip #1 – Clear Goals and Intentions Feed Confidence
Before you run full speed ahead into the Valentine’s Day “I need a date,” panic and chaos, take a breath. Seriously, breathe and ask yourself this before you do anything rash: “What do I actually want out of this season?” Are you looking for a casual date for Vday? Do you want a serious relationship, or are you just trying to get to know yourself better?
Clarity is really important here, and figuring out your intentions will help you steer clear of any unnecessary stress—or dating drama.
Define Your Goals
It is totally fine to want different (or several) things! Maybe you want to go all out on the dating apps. Or you might be into the whole self-discovery thing.
The most important part of it is knowing what feels right for you. Like if the thought of committing to seriously dating someone makes you have an anxiety attack, then you should keep it casual.
Set Realistic Expectations
Valentine’s season comes with an extra large side of romanticized pressure, but love has never followed any kind of a strict timeline. If you’re planning to go on a date or you’ll be spending the day swiping through a dating app with your fav playlist on in the background, just remind yourself that progress is progress—it doesn’t matter how big or small it is.
Clarity is Important
Being clear about exactly what you want will save you time from chasing mismatched connections or wasting precious energy on the things that don’t match up with your dating goals. You want to date with purpose—not with so much purpose that you veer into overplanning territory, but one that feels intentional and achievable.
Pre-Valentine Tip #2 – Build Self-Confidence
If you have confidence, you are halfway there! It’s what draws people to you like a magnet, even if you’re freaking out a little on the inside. But you don’t have to fake it til you make it—you can work on your self-confidence with a few small but consistent actions that will remind you of your worth.
Focus on Self-Care
Let’s begin with the basic building blocks: taking care of your body can do amazing things for your mindset. You could sneak in a hot yoga session or workout, change up your skincare routine, or just get enough sleep for once!
It’s the little changes that will make you feel more grounded. Plus, who doesn’t feel like a celeb after a fresh haircut or a new fit that makes you double-take your reflection?
Celebrate Your Wins
It’s super easy to get stuck on what’s not going right, but don’t ever forget to give yourself credit where it’s due. If you crushed a work project, finally cleaned out your closet, or managed to cook something without burning it, give yourself kudos.
Manage Stress with Mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness isn’t just for the meditation pros or Buddhist monks. Even little things like taking a few deep, cleansing breaths before a big date or using grounding techniques when anxiety rears its panicky head can make a difference. Confidence isn’t you pretending that you’re fearless—you are managing those pesky nerves and showing up anyway.
Project Confidence on Dates
First dates are basically an awkward outing of trying to impress someone while you’re eating without embarrassing yourself or getting a big green thing stuck in between your two front teeth.
But don’t mistake confidence with perfection—one has little to do with the other. It’s actually the little things—making eye contact, smiling (even if you’re nervous), and being genuinely curious about the person who is in front of you.
Revamp Your Online Dating Profile
It’s not spring yet, but you don’t have to wait until spring to clean up your dating profile! It’s your personal billboard in the online dating world, and everyone’s can always use a little bit of TLC. It doesn’t have to be perfect (there is no such thing), but giving it a quick refresh will make you more noticeable in a horde of selfies and overused prompts.
Update Your Photos
Changing out old pictures for something that’s current is such an easy way to breathe some new life into your profile. Pick a combo of shots that show the different sides of you—one where you’re smiling, one doing something you like to do, and maybe one with a background that can kick off a conversation. And don’t forget that seasonal touches, like those winter vibes, will make your profile feel more relatable.
Make Your Bio Work for You
Rewrite your bio so it says what’s happening in your life right now. We sound like a broken record, but it needs to be said: Don’t rely on generic lines like “I like to eat and travel.” Be more specific: “Currently on a serious mission to find the best ramen within 30 miles” or “Looking for a trivia nerd who wants to smack down the competition at my local pub’s trivia night.” It’s little details like this that always help someone get a better sense of your personality!
Add Conversation Starters
Throw in a fun fact or a weird question that makes it easy for someone to message you. “Ask me about the time I got lost in Aruba and became friends with a mime.” It’s fun, it’s memorable, and it does the heavy lifting for anyone who’s not quite sure how to break the ice.
Be Real Over Perfect
Forget about trying to curate the “perfect” profile because being genuine will win every single time. Talk about what makes you laugh, what you’re passionate about, or even something a little odd—like your unhealthy obsession with the TLC network’s shows. The right person will appreciate the honesty.
Pre-Valentine Tip #3 – Practice Communication Skills
If dating feels like an obscure Olympic sport (there is now break dancing), communication is your warm-up routine. Messaging someone on a dating app or chatting it up on a first meeting is where you need to use your words—good communication is what gives you confidence, connect, stand out, and avoid the dreaded small talk loop.
Starting the Conversation
Don’t use the “Hey” or “What’s up?”—those are both conversation dead ends. Comment on something from their dating profile or ask a fun, open-ended question. Something like, “What is the weirdest food combination that you love but other people would gag from?” It’s a little random, yes, but it sure beats another boring and generic greeting.
The Art of Listening
Good communication isn’t only about what you say—it’s also about how well you listen, so show that you are genuinely interested by asking follow-up questions or referencing something they mentioned earlier. It’s called active listening, and everyone should do this—even if you’re not on a date!
Prepping for First Dates
First dates are nerve-wracking, so it always helps to have a few go-to icebreakers in your arsenal. Questions like, “If you could swap lives Freaky Friday style with a character from a book or movie, who would it be?” can be a fun conversation. And if you’re doing a virtual meetup? Clean up where you’ll be so that you don’t have a background of dirty laundry.
Managing Nerves
Everyone gets nervous—it’s all part of the process. Instead of stressing out about being smooth, concentrate on just being present. Take some deep breaths, remind yourself that it’s just a conversation, and don’t worry about any silences. Sometimes, a comfortable pause speaks a lot louder than words!
Pre-Valentine Tip #4 – Explore New Ways to Connect
If you’re so over the same old swipe-and-scroll routine, it’s time for you to switch gears. Meeting people can happen in ways that feel more organic—and, dare we say, even fun!
Explore Interest-Based Apps
Not every dating app on the market is a mindless swipe fest. There are platforms that are tailored to specific interests, from book lovers to outdoor fanatics. The apps will connect you with people who already share something that you care about—and that makes the first message a lot less awkward!
Check Out Local Events
Look for any pre-Valentine activities that are happening in your area. Singles mixers, trivia nights, or casual happy hours are all great options to meet people IRL. And these kinds of events take a lot of the pressure off—after all, everyone’s there for the same reason.
Find Connection Through Hobbies
Instead of fixating on “meeting someone,” try just to enjoy yourself! Join a group or activity you’re genuinely excited about, like a pottery class, a weekend hiking club, or a wine-tasting group. You’ll organically connect with people who have similar interests, and even if romantic sparks don’t fly, you still spend your time doing something that you love.
Pre-Valentine Tip #5 – Face Common Dating Fears Head-On
Ugh, dating comes with a lot of fears, we know. There’s rejection, awkward silences, or first-date flops, and it’s super easy to let those fears totally take over. But here’s the thing—most of the scary stuff is way more manageable than it seems.
Rethink Rejection
Nobody likes being turned down, but it’s not the end of the world. Instead of taking it personally, try to see it as a part of the process. A mismatch doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of a great connection—it just means you haven’t found the right one yet.
Find the Silver Linings
Not every date will be a fairy tale, but that doesn’t mean it’s a waste of time. Maybe you had a good laugh, learned something new about yourself, or discovered what it is that you don’t want. Every interaction is an opportunity to grow, even if it’s not love at first sight.
Keep Your Cool
Dating tends to get really overwhelming if it’s the only thing you are focused on. So, release that pressure valve by keeping the rest of your life full. Hanging out with your friends, doing a hobby, or binge-watching a new series—when you have other things to look forward to, it really helps in keeping a healthy and balanced perspective about it all.
- Reframe rejection: it’s not about you; it’s about compatibility.
- Focus on the experience, not the outcome—every date can teach you something.
- Keep your life balanced: hobbies, friends, and downtime all keep dating in perspective.
- Be ready for awkward moments with a fun icebreaker or a mental “backup plan.”
Pre-Valentine Tip #6 – Plan for Valentine’s Day—Whether Solo or with Someone
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a huge, overblown production (unless that’s your whole thing). If you’re flying solo or planning to spend the day with someone, just making it meaningful and pressure-free is your only Feb. 14 goal.
For a Solo Celebration
Treat the day like it’s all yours because, guess what? It is! Want to watch movies with zero interruptions? Done. Feel like having breakfast for dinner and then eating a pint of Talenti? Sounds perfect. You could even use the day to tick something off a to-do list, like trying indoor rock climbing or finally cleaning out your junk drawer. It’s your day, so do whatever you want to!
Connect with Friends or Family
Love isn’t just for a significant other, so you can take advantage of Valentine’s Day to show your appreciation for the people who’ve always been there for you. Plan a low-key dinner, a game night, or even just a dinner gone call to check in with your loved ones. It’s a great way to shift the focus away from what you don’t have and celebrate the connections that you do.
For a Date Night
If you’re seeing someone, keep things low-pressure and fun. A casual dinner, a walk under the stars (if it’s not too cold), or ordering takeout are all solid and low-key but will still make for a memorable night. Don’t go overboard unless it’s something you’re both into—no one needs the added stress of planning a “perfect” Valentine’s Day date.
Celebrate Love in All Forms
Romantic love is just one kind of love, so whether you spend the day pampering yourself, connecting with your friends, or having a Galentine’s date with your bestie, the only goal is: happiness, connection, and gratitude.
Conclusion
Valentine’s Day does indeed come with a lot of hype (too much hype if you ask us), but it should never define your worth—or your happiness. It’s only one day out of 365, so don’t put too much emphasis on its importance. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not that important.
Here’s a brief recap of how to approach dating before Valentine’s Day:
- Take the time to prepare, whether that’s by working on your confidence or clarifying your dating or general life intentions.
- Check out some new ways to connect with others—both online and offline.
- Don’t let dating fears hold you back—use them as opportunities to grow and learn.
- You can make Feb. 14th meaningful, no matter what your plans look like.
Remember, this day is just a tiny chapter in your story. If you’re celebrating solo, dating, or enjoying life with friends, your happiness and self-growth are the absolute best way to approach the season.
