We’ve all been on bad dates. Some of us more than others, but we doubt there is a person out there who hasn’t had at least one truly awful experience when meeting up with a potential romantic partner.
And when you are on that terrible, no-good date that you can feel in your bones will lead absolutely nowhere except for you hoping to never, ever see the person sitting across from you again, your mind is racing with, “How do I get out of this? Can I get out of this?” You may even look up to the heavens and ask for help from above if it’s that bad.
So you begin to plot your escape like some kind of criminal mastermind in a low-budget B-movie. We all want dates that are fun, with people we click with, and possibly to be swept off of our feet like something out of a Disney film. But when that doesn’t materialize, all we want to do is bolt to the nearest EXIT sign.
But because we are supposedly civilized human beings, we cannot just get up and walk out—we have to be gracious and try to escape politely. Boring! But unfortunately, it is necessary. So, if you find yourself praying for a natural disaster, like a tornado alert blaring from your phone’s emergency alert system to save you from a bad date, but the skies are sunny and clear, here are nine exit strategies that are all wrapped in politeness.
1. The ‘Work Emergency’
This is a time-tested and classic escape route. There is a sudden, urgent work crisis that requires your immediate attention—you are the only one who can fix this catastrophe. It’s plausible, mostly believable, and gets you out of there with your dignity—and your date’s dignity—intact. You can sell it even more by plastering on the panicked expression of someone whose inbox just exploded, and you have to go save your co-workers and possibly your own employment.
2. The Fake-a-Friend
This one is also a classic, and women have been using it forever, but men can take advantage of it as well! It just requires a little bit of pre-date coordination. Have a friend ready to call you at a predetermined time, and if the date is already bad or going downhill at an alarming speed, answer the call and then look concerned. “My friend’s car broke down, Uber is surge pricing and they need me to come get them. Sorry, gotta go!” Voilà, you’re actually saving the day for someone by leaving.
3. The Honest Approach
This is a groundbreaking one, we know. But it’s so much harder than making up an excuse or straight-up lying! Sometimes, just saying, “I think you’re great, but I don’t feel a connection,” is the cleanest way out. It’s not fun, but it’s straightforward and leaves zero room for any misunderstanding.
6. The “Bathroom Break” Breakout
Excuse yourself to go to the restroom and then, well, just keep on walking. It’s the dating equivalent of leaving for a pack of cigarettes and never coming back. While effective, it’s also rude and a form of ghosting IRL, so maybe keep this one in your back pocket for when your date is not a nice person or is making you feel uncomfortable in any way.
7. The Dietary Restriction Discovery
“Oh, no, I just realized this place doesn’t cater to my very specific and imaginary dietary restrictions.” Whether it’s a sudden fake allergy to every single item on the menu or you plead vegan and can only eat food that never had a face, this solid excuse can get you out the door, though it might leave your date confused about why you didn’t mention it if you agreed on the restaurant before the date. Oh well!
8. The Set Time Limit
Mention at the start of the date that you have another commitment later. This activates a natural end time for the date that’s in progress and gives you a polite out without having to come up with a reason on the spot when you want to dip.
9. The Pet Emergency
We don’t do this one because we are superstitious, but far be it from us to keep it from others. “My dog/cat/goldfish is sick, I need to go!” It’s hard, nay, impossible, for anyone to argue with pet emergencies without looking like a complete ogre. Just be ready for follow-up questions about your pet’s health—you could accidentally bump into your bad date in public at a later time.
Takeaways
In the dating game, not every swing will be a hit or even connect with the ball, and that’s okay! The sleight of hand is to leave the field with a semblance of grace and, hopefully, without making your date feel bad about themselves. These nine exit strategies, when used sensibly, can save you from a night of misery while keeping the peace and leaving the other person no worse for wear.
When you do manage to pull off an escape from a bad date, you’ll feel free, like the iconic pic of Nicole Kidman throwing up her hands in unadulterated joy while walking out of her lawyer’s office after finalizing her divorce from Tom Cruise, but you know what’s an even better feeling? Finding someone you don’t want to escape from! So keep at it—hopefully, the next date will be better.
